The Greg Graham Guide: Miami Beach

Hopefully this is the only time that I have to warn you of the unwelcome experience that potentially awaits you at one of Miami Beach’s only burger places. Cheeseburger Baby, Washington, near Española Way, seems to have only half of the formula correct. Fresh Angus steak burgers, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and pickles make for half of the experience. The other half, of which is essential to me, is warm customer service. You don’t have to hug me and hand me gifts. Just basic respect with a dash of pleasantness will do. How a restaurant can lack this in the 21st century Western world is truly unbelievable!

As advanced as Miami Beach’s 21st century arts and architecture scenes are, sometimes I must admit that the customer service here can be caveman or Jurassic in comparison. Long lines, lack of acknowledgment upon entering an establishment or being ignored are all part of the Miami Beach that is not worth mentioning to the world. I am a big fan of customer service done well.

I ordered a “medium” burger. I understand that that can mean “a little” pink on the inside. That’s no problem, however my burger was more than a little pink on the inside. Furthermore I do understand that “medium” in terms of opinion can vary also. Fair enough. As your guide, I can attest that I approached the staff pleasantly and professionally when asking if I could have my burger cooked more or have a different burger that is more cooked.

I was greeted by an angry woman who insisted that I ordered medium. I explained to her that it was too pink for me. She repeated that I ordered medium so that’s what I got. Instead of going into a curse-laden tirade and hurling the patty and buns around like frisbees(which was my first thought, admittedly), I did my best to keep my cool and to curb my usual tendency to “show out” in front of a crowd when unjustly attacked. I then suggested, at the same volume as she, that

this “better” burger place is in dire need of “better” employees

The fact that they would not recook my burger after I politely asked is a great reason for me to say that the service, care and concern for its new customers is truly… fecal.

With the number of hamburger meat recalls occurring in the US and abroad, it’s fair and reasonable to think that a burger place would leap at the chance to make a customer happy by protecting his/her health and possibly the company’s financial bottom line and reputation.

If you have a strong urge to go against your better judgment and try a burger here(like I did), I’ll tell you the best thing on the menu… Sprite.

Have no fear, good people! Truly yummy burgers can be had on the Beach with the opening of the classic California burger chain, Fatburger, at 947 Washington Ave. The years of experience that they are bringing to the Beach are demonstrated by the great food, attentive service and impeccably clean environment that they uphold. If you have been to the West Coast and had a burger here, it is easy to agree. Fatburger and Five Guys, another winning chain, provide a good level of service unable to be compared to the unpleasant, impersonal treatment one can receive at Cheeseburger Baby.

I am an understanding soul. I do recognize that people can have bad days, however one international, unwritten law of business on which every company seems to unanimously agree is “Don’t make your bad day become mine!” If a person is having a bad day, that person is not entitled to abuse an investor in her own company. Especially a person that has not openly antagonized the staff. “Investor” here is meant as a paying customer.

Just as there are always two sides to a story, there is always one experience that both storytellers want when dealing with anyone’s business… “Don’t make your bad day become mine!” is that one thing.

Cheeseburger Baby gets the first ever Customer Service ranking on the Guide.

Absolute zero.

Not listening to your customers, was cute and laughable to an extent during the ’90s when Seinfeld’s “Soup Nazi” character made customer disservice enjoyable to those people who normally never had to depend on bad service.

With a weakening dollar value and a tender economy here in the United States, it is imperative for businesses such as these(in the restaurant/cafe category) to do their best to preserve loyalty. Fatburger, on the other hand, seems to realize that it is not the only company arriving on the Beach that is openly willing to take care of its new customers.

Service is a major part of a great getaway weekend, anniversary, baby shower, school reunion or any other gathering that we deem precious.

Great service during a special event creates great memories.

I will uphold my duty to present the best in food and fun that you can confidently experience for the first time here in Miami Beach. I usually only mention places worth visiting, however the proximity of this restaurant to some rather noteworthy places makes it very easy to visit unknowingly. I will do my best to help ensure that your special visits to our community are, in the end, worth it to you.

Contrary to the cliché, “time is money”, sometimes it actually is not. Money, unlike your time, can be replaced. You can be assured that by visiting here on a day when someone there is having a “bad day” you will waste either your time or your money.

The votes are in! The 2008 Middle Finger Award Goes To… Cheeseburger Baby! Congratulations.

When rent is at its historical highest, they are the best at shrinking their marketshare and driving away potentially new loyal customers. [Insert Applause]

Let me preface this first by saying that I am one of the most in-need-of-yoga people you may meet in your life. I am laid-back socially yet, crave the hectic pace at work. Somewhere in there that has helped me to become pretty physically inflexible in my 30+ years on the planet. The Lotus Position. Yeah, right. The splits. Forget it. Stretching and breathing along with general physical strengthening are things that I am happy to learn and implement into my life.

My affinity toward Brazilian arts has drawn me once again to another new adventure. Capoeira. Capoeira(ka-po-EH-ra) is an energetic martial art most recognized by its rhythmic dance-like moves fused with kicks and fight techniques that resemble break dancing. Capoeira originates from the groups of African slaves who were taken to Brazil.

Our good friends at Wikipedia mention that the Portuguese word “capoeira” derives from the word capão (ka-POWN), which translates as “capon” or a castrated rooster. The sport’s name may originate from this word since its moves resemble those of a rooster in a fight.

Capoeira has its variations. The most internationally popular version today is demonstrated by two people mock fighting each other using rhythmic sweeps, kicks and spins inside a circle called a roda formed by spectators, while other members of the group play instruments, sing and even take their turn with another group member inside the circle.

Now if there is a category called ultra-beginner then that’s where I am. Vanessa ensures that we do a good amount of stretching and breathing exercises before we begin the ginga(JEN-ga) which is the rhythmic back and forth motion signaling the start of a capoeira match. The ginga begins with the feet shoulder-width apart followed by one step backwards and then returning to the original position. The next foot then does the same. The motions are done in a triangular pattern and help to prepare for other more complex moves.

Vanessa is a very patient,pleasant and knowledgeable instructor the entire way through. Since I am choreographically-challenged at times, I was concerned that one wrong move on my part could accidentally reverse the clock and take me back to infancy…if you really know what I mean. She assured me that there is no impact and we were focusing more on getting the moves done correctly than doing a match against each other. We did some moves and kicks and lots of abdominal strengthening and stretching. One hour later I was looking for either a taxi or a wheelbarrow to take me back home. It did not matter which one arrived first. Vanessa mentioned that the exercises get easier to do as you go along with them over time.

What I loved about my capoeira experience is that Vanessa taught me a different way to keep up(who am I fooling?..improve) my fitness. Capoeira works EVERYTHING muscle-wise and cardio-wise so fitness buffs won’t have to worry about taking a step down from their current routines. Even more encouraging for me is that it is a great class for beginners to take. Vanessa’s patience, humor and encouragement will ensure that your first, second, third or following introduction to capoeira will be positive and healthy for you. It’s a very fun way to stay in shape whether you’re visiting or living here on the Beach. Try it and your body will thank you. For more information on lesson times and locations you can contact Vanessa below.

Vanessa Flores
Capoeirista
http://sobe-creative.com
info@sobe-creative.com

When I’m on the go, traipsing up and down the streets, I have to admit that the thought of a quick snack from a place with great food and friendly staff usually enters my mind. Hey, I admit. I love food even though my choices of food have changed a bit over time. Instead of wolfing down giant-sized portions of anything with a catchy commercial during my favorite televised sports events, I now prefer much smaller portions of high-taste, low-health foods and way bigger portions of vegetables, salads and any assortment of the tropical fruits that we are fortunate to have here in Miami.

Empanadas are easily one of my favorite prepared foods. If I had a food chart similar to the music charts in Billboard magazine, empanadas would, without hesitation, appear in my Top 10. Empanadas are small, usually handheld pies with dough folded over any variety of fillings. Several Latin-American countries lay claim to its origin. This explains why in various places throughout Miami you will see empanadas that differ slightly from each other in preparation. They also resemble Jamaican patties, yet contain a much wider range of filling choices. Many empanada shops offer a standard beef, chicken and vegetable selection. Some go beyond the ordinary and offer more palate pleasers, including dessert fillings.

For those of us that live here and those of you that are visiting, wonderfully tasty, unique empanadas are within our collective reach. Cafe’ Del Mar located at 7th & Washington is my favorite. The staff is very understanding of my newfound empanada “habit” so each time I enter I’m greeted warmly. Their selection usually contains about 5 daily specials including beef, chicken, spinach & cheese, caprese(tomato, fresh mozzarella & basil) and a ham & cheese choice. These are baked several times per day and you can smell them often as far as 8th street. Cafe’ Del Mar specializes in a range of organically grown and produced food. The empanadas are all made with 100% organic ingredients which explained why they taste so much better than the number of other empanadas on offer at other places. Cafe’ Del Mar has fresh salads, wraps, paninis and a large number of fresh fruit smoothies to go with your meal.

The taste, the value, the staff and the selection of healthy food and drinks available make Cafe’ Del Mar a necessary stop for your itinerary here on the Beach. (Note to Friends: For those late-night food missions after clubbing and lounging, this is also the ideal place to load up on vitamin-packed, fresh fruit smoothies designed to ease those morning hangovers that may occur). Cafe’ Del Mar welcomes you 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. If you have never had an empanada or have just learned how to spell it, try one here first.

Cafe’ Del Mar
710 Washington Ave.
305.534.7734

Today I was on a mission. I was getting my grocery shopping done for the week at my local-supermarket. Mission accomplished. After some choice selections, I left the supermarket and just decided to take a different route home.

I was walking down West St. with its unassuming parking lots and heavy-machinery for construction. I could tell that some day this area will be built up into yet another area in need of a parking garage to handle the traffic influx. As I looked West I could see the sun beaming into the waters of Biscayne Bay. The second thing that caught my eye was a patio area filled with tables and umbrellas set up for outdoor dining.

Since I am a true foodie I went there to check it out, accompanied by my six bags of groceries from the grocery store. Sardinia was the name of the place that warmly invited me, my curiosity and my six bags of groceries in for a quick bite.

My hostess, Heidi, was outstanding. She prepared her own special dip for the fresh-baked bread that was brought out. The dip was her own signature blend containing olive oil, balsamic vinegar, crushed red peppers, fresh lemon and pepper. Delicious. She was very knowledgeable of the menu and pointed out some standout items on the two-page menu created by Chef Pietro Vardeu better known as the owner of Sardinia.

Lasagna, a spicy spaghetti, an orrechiete pasta and a malloreddo pasta with a braised lamb ragu sauce were some of the highlights on the pasta menu. The salads were impressive as well as their Carasatu flatbread which is unique to the restaurant. The Carasatu bread comes in a variety of choices such as goat cheese & honey, olive oil & sea salt or with tomato sauce, pecorino & poached egg. I went with the malloreddo pasta and finished it in like 9.2 minutes. It was awesome. The sauce was a rich, flavorful consistency with thinly-sliced, small cuts of tender lamb inside. The experience was enjoyable and worth telling the world.

The location of Sardinia is the furthest “off of the beaten path” that I have covered. On the West coast of the island of Miami Beach, facing Biscayne Bay and Downtown Miami, this is also a great location for you to walk along the Bay with a date/spouse. Many would agree that is much better company than 6 bags of groceries.

The Standard has earned a special place in my heart. It was here where a large group of my friends from around the world gathered to meet during the annual Winter Music Conference. It was unanimous among us that this is one of the best places around to relax with good company. You can best experience that “Miami Chill” as we call it here. That Miami Chill is the rare phenomenon that occurs during the time of the year when the temperatures drop from what feels like 800 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer to a calm, dry 70 degrees in the autumn evenings. Many travelers visiting Miami at this time experience some of our most comfortable weather and warmest welcomes in the Beach’s numerous destinations.

Property mogul, Andre’ Balazs, has ensured that The Standard becomes one of the best backdrops for your chillout time here. The mid-twentieth century architect Morris Lapidus set the retro-meets-the-future design in motion during the glory days of the Lido Spa Hotel. The historic 1960s Lido Spa Hotel occupied the site of what is now The Standard. In accordance with historical preservation efforts, the Lido Spa Hotel’s sign remains on the front of the building with a smaller upside-down logo of the Standard next to it. Nestled away from the hype and glitz found on Collins Ave. or Ocean Drive, The Standard rests on the mostly residential Belle Isle, a tiny island just 500 feet west of Miami Beach. .

One of my favorite features is the jacuzzi/waterfall located just beside the large infinty pool facing Biscayne Bay and the Miami skyline in the distance. The waterfall has water, set to approximately 104 degrees Fahrenheit, that falls from an approximately 9 ft. drop. When the water cascades onto your weary shoulders you will love the sensation of it almost kneading the knots out of your tense areas. The restaurant has some fresh fruit, full bar and great selection of fish and poultry dishes.

The minimalist chic decor, world-class healing spa, bayside restaurant and low-key location make the Standard one of Miami Beach’s favorite getaways for jet-set couples celebrating a special life moment or those simply taking a break to turn life down a notch.

The Standard Miami
40 Island Ave.
Miami Beach FL 33139
Tel: 305.673.1717

Trick or Treat. Take your pick. Ghosts, Goblins, Superheroes, Pop Culture Icons were a fraction of the immense variety of costumes adorned by the Halloween revelers on Miami Beach’s Lincoln Road. In spite of the rain which made an appearance off and on, this was a “must-see” event according to several friends during the week prior to the Halloween gathering.

Walking through the crowd was an event itself. An estimated 100,000 partygoers participated in this annual South Beach phenomenon.. I had the pleasure of being joined by a rotating cast of friends throughout the night. Jana, Alejandro and Phillip were there at the start of the evening to introduce me to this Carnaval-style street party.

As you can imagine, the hip-hop inspired method of “street marketing” took place on a large scale. Corporate brands, as vastly different from each other as energy drink makers to perfume and cologne manufacturers, employed fabulously dressed or nearly undressed ladies to offer free cans of drinks, cologne samples and coffee coupons to the wide-eyed public.

The area between Pennsylvania and Meridian streets was the epicenter of the night’s activities featuring a live DJ playing hits and turning the happy crowd into even more of a grateful frenzy. The crowd was so happy that even real police officers joined in for a few seconds of fun on occasion. As my friends and I navigated through the animated masses I noticed that nearly every lounge and café featured a special Halloween-inspired offering. Drink and food specials aptly named to fit the theme of the night were everywhere. From 8PM until just past 3AM, costumed participants filled the streets with good vibes.

For those of you planning your holiday getaways next year, make sure that you include a stop in Miami Beach during the end of October through early November. Blissfully intense partying followed by a day at one of the area’s world-renowned spas can be the perfect elixir for you to cure yourself from the everyday life blahs.

As a guy we all know that if you are shopping with your wife or girlfriend that when she is happy then you will be happy or at the very least, numbingly OK. If she is not happy, forget it. Misery just checked into your hotel room with the two of you.

What if I told you… come a little closer… that there is a place on Lincoln Road offering some of the best South Beach Chic and New York Couture clothing for women. Enter Stage, right? Yes, enter what one visitor dubbed as an “oasis for women’s clothing in a relaxed shopping environment”. This detail alone is enough to evoke smiles from many women, including your favorite one. Stage is considered to be a newcomer to the Lincoln Road retail family. In just under a year, Stage has earned some well-deserved attention from many familiar news media here in South Florida.

In addition to the praise from the media and patrons alike, the prices are also considered fairly reasonable by the experienced shoppers visiting the store. On occasional Saturdays, it is not uncommon to see Duke, the amiable owner, offering wine to his designer devotees dutifully comparing fabrics and prices of items.

The store maintains a festive, yet welcoming, environment. The playful acts put on by a number of puppies available for sale also contribute to the cheery atmosphere inside the store. Puppy love and cutting-edge event garments blend well to give us Stage, Lincoln Road.

Stage
441 Lincoln Road
Miami Beach FL 33139
Tel: +1.305.671.3367

OK, OK. This kind of hookah isn’t the kind that will get me involved in any scandals. As defined by Wikipedia, a hookah is a single or multi-stemmed (often glass-based) water pipe device for smoking; originating in India, that has gained popularity, especially in the Arab World. A hookah operates by water-filtration and indirect heat. It is often used for smoking herbal fruits and tobacco.

Hookah bars are not strangers to the world’s bigger cities. Certain areas of London, Istanbul, Paris and San Francisco as well as many other major cities often have a fairly high concentration of hookah bars. In London’s Edgware Road area you will see more hookah bars than you will Starbucks locations. As impossible as that may sound, this should put hookah bars growing popularity into perspective.

Miami is a city well-renowned for diverse cultures, traveling executives and trade conventions. Miami’s popularity as a world destination makes it a dynamic place for cultural exchange. Finding a hookah bar in Miami Beach wasn’t as much of a surprise to me. Meeting Claudia and Rosa and seeing how impeccably clean and attractive D’Vine is takes hookah bars up a notch on the nightlife scale. That was the surprise.

Claudia and Rosa are the hospitable, inspired owners of D’Vine on Lincoln Road. They offer an indoor and outdoor seating option with a very relaxing and chic red theme inside. Three things that instantly grabbed my attention were the great customer service, the umistakable smell of some well-prepared Mediterranean fare and the low drink prices in comparison with most of Lincoln Road. After checking out the menu, I found that there are about 55 different varieties of hookah herbal fruits from which to choose. Pineapple, watermelon and honeydew bases are combined with any number of fruits or tobacco. Lots of people pick the fruits without the tobacco also. During their relazing smoke-n-chill session, you can make yourself at home and order the great appetizers or main dishes. Turkish favorites such as a mixed plate of mezze(hummus, baba ganoush, tahini and other dipping classics) are on the menu along with a very tasty marinated chicken, savory Turkish meatballs, and many other Mediterranean classics and fusions.

For those people who truly want to “do something different” enter D’Vine, get pampered by a great, attentive staff serving authentically pleasing food, get a hookah and get your night on the right path forward.

D’Vine Hookah Lounge
445 Lincoln Road
Miami Beach FL 33139
Tel: +1.305.674.8525

Super succulent, tender, lean, flavorful morsels in every bite. That was my mission when I waltzed into La Parilla Liberty. I have heard it for ages that the Argentinians have got it goin’ on when it comes to great steaks. Apparently that is partly due to the diets of the cows in South America greatly differing with their flame-grilled cousins up North. Most cattle are grass-fed in South America. Cows in the States are often fed much more than grass. This makes them much bigger and more likely the reason why the meat is considerably tougher than the South American cows.

When I lived in London, the place that stood out in my memories for Argentinian fare was the Gaucho Grill. It was located on Swallow Street, ironically enough. That was my first time experiencing the great taste of chimichurri sauce which contains the basic ingredients of olive oil, garlic and parsley.

On this side of the Atlantic and of the Equator, La Parilla Liberty does a great job at keeping the crown for Argentinian steaks. The restaurant also serves as a social spot where you can sip a cold Quilmes and watch some of the best football on television outside in an open-roof terrace. At this particular visit I went with the Churrasco steak sandwich which comes with french fries and a salad. This meal was something that both my stomach and my wallet were going to enjoy today.

The service was friendly and welcoming yet occasionally I felt like I had to light flares in order to get noticed. In all fairness, it was very busy and everyone seemed to not only order food, but also drinks, appetizers and the whole lot. There were several good matches on the screen which suggested that maybe I should have checked the Web for upcoming games before I went to the restaurant. This was one of those rare moments in Greg history where I was actually hungrier for food than for sports.

Once the food arrived I took a bite and just as I remembered it, my teeth sunk into the sandwich with no problem. What made this extraordinarily good was that the bun was also fresh. I opened the sandwich and generously applied the chimichurri sauce. The fries were also tasty and quite lightly fried, giving them a crisp, non-greasy texture. The staff did a decent job considering that their hands were very full with a large crowd of hungry football fans. Get a dose of authentic Argentinian flavor here on South Beach.

La Parilla Liberty
1925 Liberty Ave
Miami Beach, FL 33139
(305) 695-0099
Open Weekdays 6pm-12am; Weekends 12pm-12am

Carlos, Sheraz and I went to this very nondescript, low-key lounge where they only served wine, beer, champagne and sake. That caught my attention. A theme. I walk in and see what I always thought existed. A place where people in Miami Beach would go to recharge or take a halftime break from the mayhem on Washington Ave. or Ocean Drive. After a long enough stay, you will begin to search for more lounges than even the great ones you find on Lincoln Road. Locals and tourist veterans know about Abraxas. Abraxas is a super-cozy lounge with plush seating, a very strong and eclectic wine & beer list and friendly staff. Malbec-in-hand, I sat down with my friends and started observing even more.

After some courteous probing, I found out from the staff that 107 beers are offered there, making this easily the most extensive beer selection in Miami Beach. This comfortable, unassuming spot has all of these beers??? Yes it’s true. There are even special ones sent over from Germany, representing the Oktoberfest season. The wine selection is also impressive with wines coming from all of the world’s favorite grapevines.

The music ranges from modern electronic lounge favorites to ’80s hits. The mood is upbeat or blissfully chilled. During special events, bands are scheduled to play throughout the month also, however you can be happy that no wrist-slitting classics are played.

Abraxas had no shortage of friendly natives either. I must say that meeting the staff and patrons there was rather genuine and unpretentious. Some of the people that you think would ignore you at Mansion would ask you how your night is going here. The crowd is sophisticated yet seemingly far from shallow. In one sense it reminds me of the bar on the hit television show, Cheers, with hotter-looking patrons and a more attentive bar staff. It’s worth a peek. Check it out.